Do you and your partner take separate vacations? It’s amazing to me how many people see this as an “end to the relationship” when in actuality, it’s incredibly healthy for your bond.
You’re not “Taking A Break”
My husband and I often try to vacation with the kids – even if it’s just day trips – and we also try to find some alone time. But, we also plan trips without each other. Never do we do this because we feel like we need time apart… in fact, the opposite is true. No one is trying to put space between us. If that were the case, I’m not so sure that taking a separate vacation is entirely healthy for the relationship. Here are some of our reasons why vacationing separately works for us.
If We Waited, It Would Never Happen
Let’s be honest here, life is busy. So busy in fact that sometimes months go by and we’ve barely had the time to go out to dinner together, never mind plan a vacation. Especially during the school year it’s really hard to get away. So why not be a true partner and take turns? There’s no rule that says it takes two full-time parents to be available 24/7. If one of us is stressed or feeling pressure at work, we encourage each other to take a breather. That might mean I’m on my own for a few days, but he’s always willing to return the favour. When we return, it’s almost always more relaxed and appreciative of our partner.
It’s Nice to Remember What You’re Missing
When my partner left on vacation today, he texted me from the airport and said, “Is it sad that I miss y’all already?” Not gonna lie here, that really pulled at my heart strings. It’s nice to know someone wants you in their life and it’s equally as nice to have an opportunity to remember what you love most. If you spend too much time together, you do run the risk of forgetting what you have. So, even if you can’t get away, please always remember that words of affirmation are greatly appreciated by many people.
Time To Do YOU
My husband and I don’t always have the same ideas when it comes to vacation planning. Last year, I just needed a week on the beach and nothing else. That would have bored him silly but my sisters wanted the same thing, so we made it a girl’s trip. On the flip side, when my husband is away, my house is spotless and exactly the way I want it all the time (LOL). Again, not gonna lie. That’s nice too 😉
You Don’t Complete Me
I honestly believe – in the core of my heart – that the movie line, “You complete me” was the worst thing to ever happen to relationships. Do people really believe that B@#Sh$%? The only person who should complete you is yourself. You need to be a happy, healthy, whole individual in order to let someone else into your life. If you’re looking for someone else to help you feel whole, you’ll never find it. That said, you have a life separate from your partner. You have friends, interests, wishes and dreams that may not be exactly like theirs. Taking your own vacation will help you remember yourself. Be confident, be bold. Explore.
It’s not unusual for someone to give me a funny look when I say my husband went away or that he’s watching the kids while I take a few days. But we have always worked well together and apart. I have my life, he has his and we have ours. I love our life and I truly appreciate the supportive partner he is.
If you’re not sure you can make this work for your family, start small. Maybe a spa weekend with your girl friends or encourage your partner to go on a fishing weekend with the boys. You may surprise yourself <3
Need some help planning your next vacations? Check out my posts about essential vacay finds from Amazon or the benefits of using a travel agent.
Have you taken a solo trip recently? Tell me about it in the comments below!
xo,
Mary
